Its A PPG!

PPG ≠ Power Play Goal (Sorry Zach)

Shluffenheimer MacDougal would like to wish
a hearty Scottish Mazal Tov to
Etz Chaim for getting their approval
from BOA on Wednesday August 11, 2010.

I'm sure there will NOT be a kiddush this week or a special L'chaim to celebrate.
There will be no ticker tape parades down Cedar Lane or Queen Anne Rd. for that matter.
CareOne will not be putting postings on TeaneckShuls to help you with a minyan and NNJ Kids will not make a monthly donation to your PPG.

Based on initial reports from the BOA meeting, Etz Chaim members are POed. They got their approval but there are A LOT of restrictions that they will have to obey.

Personally, I don't understand why they are upset.



From Day 1 President Robert Erlich has claimed that Etz Chaim is a Private Prayer Group and runs within the constraints of a PPG. In a response to an article in The Jerusalem Post Robert Erlich wrote:
A reply from Teaneck
Sir, - Marilyn Henry's article about the Teaneck, New Jersey, Etz Chaim variance hearing egregiously misrepresents and mischaracterizes many of the elements of our situation, and in doing so unfairly terms my testimony either "clever or deceptive" ("A house, or a house of prayer?," December 27). In truth, the article is deceptive in taking the ancillary statement of a technical legal distinction and wrongly portraying it as the relevant question at hand. The distinctions between a private prayer group and a house of worship, in our case, are numerous and not at all accurately depicted in this column. Our group meets at the rabbi's house only on days when driving is forbidden, meeting at all other times and for all other functions at other locations; no other synagogue-type functions take place at the house, which is not the mailing address or corporate office of the organization; the house is a full-time, round-the-clock private residence of a family of five, maintaining a residential look, with no permanent fixtures of a house of worship; among several other distinctions.

The Rabbi of this PPG, Rabbi Feldman, claimed in The Jewish Standard that:
The rabbi disputed the change-of-use argument saying that of the 168 hours in a week, only five are devoted to religious services at the house, which are held Friday night and Saturday morning and afternoon. “That’s 3 percent of the time,” he said. “It is our understanding, confirmed in two meetings with the township, that [a] prayer group in the house is a permitted residential use. Thus, we do not believe that the use has been changed in any way.”

Coincidentally, again based on early reports, most of the stipulations that the BOA have attached to Etz Chaim's approval are consistent with Robert Erlich and Rabbi Feldman's descriptions of what Etz Chaim of Teaneck really is.

It is a PPG - Private Prayer Group!

So, Mazal Tov to Etz Chaim of Teaneck on getting township approval to be all the Township will limit them to be, a PPG.
I'm sure there were easier ways to get Rabbi Feldman a house.

Surefire Way To Get Approved on Wednesday

This was forwarded to me and I feel it is good solid vital advice for Etz Chaim, Rabbi Daniel Z. Feldman, its moral compass, Robert Erlich, its fearless figurehead president and its planning committee puppets to use on Wednesday at the BOA meeting.

It is a surefire way to get the approvals you need for 554 Queen Anne Rd from the township:

Building permit

I just applied for a building permit for a new house.

It was going to be 100 ft tall and 400 ft wide with 9 turrets
at various heights and windows all over the place and a
loud outside entertainment sound system.
It would have parking for 200 old cars and I was going
to paint it snot green with tatty pink trim.

The City Council told me to get lost.

So I sent in the application again,

but this time I called it a

Mosque.

Work starts on Monday

Big Bash on Queenanne

Summer. The smell of grilling meats permeates the neighborhood. Kids playing and bicycle riding. Its a nice time for neighbors to get together, sit out on lounge chairs and swap stories.

Synagogues hunt for fundraisers that take advantage of the summery feel of August. President Robert Erlich and the planning committee, have I got a fundraiser for you:

The 1st annual 554 Queen Anne Rd, Inc DBA Congregation Etz Chaim of Teaneck aka. Rabbi Daniel Zvi Feldman's shul aka The Shtibshul Barbeque.

I'm already salivating thinking about it. Your Kiddushes are legen-wait for it-dary, can you imagine what a BBQ would be like?

The venue is important. Once all of your neighbors agree to allowing your BBQ to take place at 554 Queen Anne Rd, you are golden! CareOne is not appropriate due to the hearts and lungs of their clientèle. Every other minute one of the residents will pull the fire alarm because they think they are on fire. Check out my posting on Biur Chametz for more information. Parking will be at a premium. I suggest parking at the safe parking structures in Hackensack and chartering a bus to the Stibshul. Everybody wins!

The menu is also a vital part of the barbecuing experience. After all, what is a BBQ without the food. You should serve:

• In-Ground Steaks (from realtors due to Etz Chaim)
• Pickle Snotsberry SteakBurger (fresh from the Yekusiel's robotic kid's noses)
• Frank Furor (from the neighbors)
• Chickens all types (especially two-faced ones like that Levine chap who got kicked off the JCT board)
• Flies (from the stench the Stibshul has brought to the Teaneck Jewish community)
• Bunion Rings (from walking to shul because NO ONE parks at Etz Chaim on Friday nights)
• Slaw (costs from all of the lawsuits)
• Pot Salad (to defray the costs from the BBQ because everyone has used all their money to pay for the Shtibshul's mortgage)

The menu sounds absolutely delicious. Yummy. Sign me up!

Don't forget to post it on teaneckshuls. LOL, Who am I kidding?!?!?!?

Thank You Teaneck Thank You

I want to thank everyone for a wonderful Tisha B’Av. I enjoyed synagogue hopping and experiencing the mourning of the destruction of both Temples. The community in Teaneck really came together to show their achdut (togetherness) as a Jewish people. There are some elements in Teaneck that made it even more special and really put me in the right mood.

They say that you don’t really learn something until you experience it for yourself. Let me tell you friends, Teaneck is the destination to truly feel the meaning of Tisha B’Av. The fast day was extra meaningful in Teaneck.

Gilluy Arayot (prohibited sexual relations), a reason for the destruction of the 1st Temple, is very prominent here. Couples are getting divorced because of affairs and wife swapping is rampant. I must admit, Teaneck is not as bad as Monsey because they do not have a Key Club. What is a Key Club? Check the comments if someone asks.

Where else can one experience the true meaning of Sinat Chinam (hatred of others), a reason for the destruction of the 2nd Temple, on a daily basis. Just see how the members of Rabbi Daniel Feldman’s synagogue at 554 Queen Anne Road, Inc. DBA: Congregation Etz Chaim of Teaneck treat their neighbors, fellow Jews that are local to their location and the Jews of Teaneck at large. They inspire me to pray harder, to tear my clothing in 2 places and to eat extra eggs smothered in delicious ashes.

Teaneck is the place to be for the three weeks, nine days and especially Tisha B’Av. One day, when the Messiah comes, it will be a holiday and we will travel on the wings of eagles to the holy land of Israel. We will all rejoice together in Jerusalem at THE synagogue, the rebuilt 3rd Temple. A Temple not funded by illegitimately obtained monies and based on illegally filed building plans.

Amen!

This posting was brought to you by the letter A, the number 55 and
etzchaimteaneck.blogspot.com and
etzchaimteaneck.org

Embarrassed Much?

Yet another speaking engagement without mentioning Rabbi Feldman's greatest achievement yet! and no I am not talking about his Yadin Yadin Semikha.

The AD:

Yeshiva University invites you to join us at our next
Summer Breakfast Lecture at Morgan Stanley featuring Rabbi Daniel Feldman

"Understanding the Prohibition of Ribis"

Rabbi Daniel Z. Feldman is an instructor of Talmud and Jewish Studies at the Stone Beit Midrash Program of Yeshiva University, and serves as the Director of Rabbinic Research at YU's Center for the Jewish Future.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Listen -

If I paid good money to start a synagogue for my friend's lawsuit against a major Jewish Newspaper and others and in the process angered my synagogue's neighbors to the point where they complain to the township, try to destroy a few synagogues to insure my synagogue's success and caused the black eye of anti-semitism towards the Jews of Teaneck, falsify documents to speed through approvals from the building dept., I would be damn sure that Mara D'Atra of my Congregation, Etz Chaim of Teaneck, would be on every announcement, flyer or advertisement that features him. The honorable Rabbi Daniel Feldman.

I don't understand how Rabbi Feldman is going to act as a moral compass for others when he is the Rabbi of a synagogue that is unethical in their dealings with money and the township.

I guess he must have explained it at Beth Aaron earlier in the month when he spoke on the topic of: Lashon Hora L'Toeles-Permissible Lashon Hora. The description of the shiur is that it is a continuation of a shiur dealing with when lashon hora can be justified, i.e. for shidduchim, or business matters.

Just what the guys and gals at Morgan Stanley need. Thank you YU!

Stroller Parking Validation

Things just got a bit more difficult for Etz Chaim members. Due to new township initiatives to raise money and to help balance the budget, Etz Chaim must now supply stroller parking spots, in addition to car parking spots. On a property where space is a premium, this may pose an additional difficulty to the synagogue and to new parents. Luckily, permits are not difficult to get.



Running errands and going to synagogue with a baby is never a task most mothers look forward to. It gets a little easier when you get to park in those neat stroller spots! Here's how you can get one for yourself and your baby.

Difficulty: Easy
Time Required: 10 minutes
Here's How:
1.You must have a baby. The back of the permit states that it can only be used "when traveling with a baby and a stroller."
2.The permits can be obtained at the Teaneck Health and Human Services office. The mother, father or legal guardian must present a photo ID.
3.Proof of the child's age is required in the form of a birth certificate. The permit is good until the child's third birthday.
4.The permit is very reasonably priced. There is a $1.50 service fee, and the permit is $0.50 per month.
5.You should know that cars with handicapped permits are also allowed to park in the baby stroller parking spots if there are no handicapped spots available.

What You Need:
•Parent/legal guardian photo I.D.
•Baby's proof of age
•Cash or check for the processing fee

There is a 2 week wait for the permit to arrive by mail.

Be aware that all violators will be fined $500 per illegal parking offense, so get your permit today!