Jews love to drive to Synagogue for Friday night services. Orthodox Jews can't move their cars all Sabbathlong. When it comes to the Sabbath morning services, stacked parking and baby strollers are a rough mix if they have to share the same space. Where are congregants going to congregate after services if 554 Queen Anne Rd's lot is all parked up? The Orthodox can't walk on the grass, you might tear it up. The entire situation is not conducive to building a community.
Its Saturday morning after services and the weather is beautiful. The parking lot is full and there are a ton of strollers. Where can you hang out and shmooze before you walk home from a scrumptious Saturday afternoon luncheon?
You can clear the parking lot of cars, but hiring a valet service to move the cars until the crowd dissipates can be very expensive and Etz Chaim can not afford to hemorrhage any more money or to rely on Betty Grable to allegedly foot the bill. So what can you do that is cost effective and practical?
Your pal, Shluffenheimer MacDougal, has some great concepts to bring up at your next board meeting, assuming you have a board of course. If not, you can just bring it up to Rabbi Feldman after services.
You can train animals to drive a car. Animals are not bound by sabbath rules, so they can't violate the Sabbath. Case in point, Toonces the Driving Cat.
Cats aren't loyal like a dog, but Dogs are more reliable. Better to train a dog to drive the cars.
Be careful not to hire a cat and a dog together. Cats can be very malicious and vengeful.
Its been clinically proven that Elephants are more powerful than cats and dogs, but they aren't better drivers. Elephants are a bad idea.
Stuart Little is already trained but he is too short and won't reach the steering wheel.
Training animals is a risky proposition. After all, it is hard to get animals to follow what you ask of them on demand. An animal can never be fully domesticated. It is better to train the children to drive. They are our future and in a young synagogue there will never be a shortage of children under 3. Etz Chaim will finally have a youth program.
Let's stop talking about problems and let's start talking about solutions!
1 comment:
Hey Mac. I don't always totally agree with you on everything (most things but not 100% of things). BUT you are so funny. I go to your blog every morning to see if you have posted anything new. I have shown the blog to some of my friends who aren't Jewish and they understand what you are saying and they think its funny too. I did have to explain to them why babies can drive on Shabbat but not adults but they got a real kick out of your comments, especially the pictures. I also look forward to your serious posts. You are articulate and help me understand the goings on much better. Thank you and keep up the great work.
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