Summer. The smell of grilling meats permeates the neighborhood. Kids playing and bicycle riding. Its a nice time for neighbors to get together, sit out on lounge chairs and swap stories.
Synagogues hunt for fundraisers that take advantage of the summery feel of August. President Robert Erlich and the planning committee, have I got a fundraiser for you:
The 1st annual 554 Queen Anne Rd, Inc DBA Congregation Etz Chaim of Teaneck aka. Rabbi Daniel Zvi Feldman's shul aka The Shtibshul Barbeque.
I'm already salivating thinking about it. Your Kiddushes are legen-wait for it-dary, can you imagine what a BBQ would be like?
The venue is important. Once all of your neighbors agree to allowing your BBQ to take place at 554 Queen Anne Rd, you are golden! CareOne is not appropriate due to the hearts and lungs of their clientèle. Every other minute one of the residents will pull the fire alarm because they think they are on fire. Check out my posting on Biur Chametz for more information. Parking will be at a premium. I suggest parking at the safe parking structures in Hackensack and chartering a bus to the Stibshul. Everybody wins!
The menu is also a vital part of the barbecuing experience. After all, what is a BBQ without the food. You should serve:
- In-Ground Steaks (from realtors due to Etz Chaim)
- Pickle Snotsberry SteakBurger (fresh from the Yekusiel's robotic kid's noses)
- Frank Furor (from the neighbors)
- Chickens all types (especially two-faced ones like that Levine chap who got kicked off the JCT board)
- Flies (from the stench the Stibshul has brought to the Teaneck Jewish community)
- Bunion Rings (from walking to shul because NO ONE parks at Etz Chaim on Friday nights)
- Slaw (costs from all of the lawsuits)
- Pot Salad (to defray the costs from the BBQ because everyone has used all their money to pay for the Shtibshul's mortgage)
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