Very excited and proud to add this to my blog. Introducing for the first time, a guest posting by my sibling Oifvekenheimer MacDougal!
Now that July 4th is over, hoo-ha salute salute salute, its time for the Jews of the world to get ready for the Beis Hamikdosh commemoration period.
From fast day Shiva Asar B'Tamuz to fast day Tisha B'Av Jews are ”supposed to” be working on their sinas chinam. Ohr Saadya is hard at work on their sinas chinam.
Some of their enhanced festivities:
They are fasting Saturday and Sunday, because their holy Rav Poskines that Saturday is the real Shiva Asar B'Tamuz and since they're in Gollus they must keep two days. Having two days of fasting keeps them out of the nursing home and into Feldman's home, neighbors and Teaneck be damned.
Engraved invitations went out last week by snail mail and evite for Shiva Asar B'Tamuz & Tisha B'Av. Don't bother showing up without one or you'll be ”Bar Kamtza'd” right out of the self proclaimed ”thriving, young, dynamic community with a focus on communal warmth, serious davening, and high-level Torah learning.” Sounds like the same propaganda they've been spewing since they were at the Center minus the warmth, just ask their current neighbors.
Dynamic community meaning according to dictionary.com,vigorously active or forceful; as in the dynamic president of the Shul, Robert ”Docile” Erlich. During the three Weeks, Ohr Saadya will forcibly put all of Teaneck in a state of duress in court so Robert can push his will onto the people, under the spiritual guidance of The Parsonage part of 554 Queen Anne Rd.
There will be a special L'Chayim kiddish to Celebrate the successful Sinas Chinam campaign on Shabbos Nachamu. Don't plan on having lunch at home. The Rav will be serving everyone from the Rebitzen's plate. There will be kibbe, lachmajin, cigars and Zalman will make everyone sing an old sephardic niggun (tune) while eating. Volunteers are needed for the Heimlich brigade because got in himmel (g-d in heaven) you don't sing while chewing.
In keeping with the traditions that caused the destruction of the first temple married men will be on hand to do CPR on all the women of the Shtibshul regardless of need and in keeping with the traditions caused the destruction of the second temple, everyone will talk and gossip about it.
Volunteers are needed to saw off all the chair legs before Tisha B'Av so no one will sin by sitting on a tall chair. Of course there will be two 1/2 days of fasting because that's when the fires stopped burning.
No worries. Just because the three weeks are over doesn't mean the sinas chinam ends. After all, Ohr Saadya is all about words and not actions. Check out their website and newspaper quotes through the years. Its all preach and no practice.
Good Shabbos.
Now that July 4th is over, hoo-ha salute salute salute, its time for the Jews of the world to get ready for the Beis Hamikdosh commemoration period.
From fast day Shiva Asar B'Tamuz to fast day Tisha B'Av Jews are ”supposed to” be working on their sinas chinam. Ohr Saadya is hard at work on their sinas chinam.
Some of their enhanced festivities:
They are fasting Saturday and Sunday, because their holy Rav Poskines that Saturday is the real Shiva Asar B'Tamuz and since they're in Gollus they must keep two days. Having two days of fasting keeps them out of the nursing home and into Feldman's home, neighbors and Teaneck be damned.
Engraved invitations went out last week by snail mail and evite for Shiva Asar B'Tamuz & Tisha B'Av. Don't bother showing up without one or you'll be ”Bar Kamtza'd” right out of the self proclaimed ”thriving, young, dynamic community with a focus on communal warmth, serious davening, and high-level Torah learning.” Sounds like the same propaganda they've been spewing since they were at the Center minus the warmth, just ask their current neighbors.
Dynamic community meaning according to dictionary.com,vigorously active or forceful; as in the dynamic president of the Shul, Robert ”Docile” Erlich. During the three Weeks, Ohr Saadya will forcibly put all of Teaneck in a state of duress in court so Robert can push his will onto the people, under the spiritual guidance of The Parsonage part of 554 Queen Anne Rd.
There will be a special L'Chayim kiddish to Celebrate the successful Sinas Chinam campaign on Shabbos Nachamu. Don't plan on having lunch at home. The Rav will be serving everyone from the Rebitzen's plate. There will be kibbe, lachmajin, cigars and Zalman will make everyone sing an old sephardic niggun (tune) while eating. Volunteers are needed for the Heimlich brigade because got in himmel (g-d in heaven) you don't sing while chewing.
In keeping with the traditions that caused the destruction of the first temple married men will be on hand to do CPR on all the women of the Shtibshul regardless of need and in keeping with the traditions caused the destruction of the second temple, everyone will talk and gossip about it.
Volunteers are needed to saw off all the chair legs before Tisha B'Av so no one will sin by sitting on a tall chair. Of course there will be two 1/2 days of fasting because that's when the fires stopped burning.
No worries. Just because the three weeks are over doesn't mean the sinas chinam ends. After all, Ohr Saadya is all about words and not actions. Check out their website and newspaper quotes through the years. Its all preach and no practice.
Good Shabbos.
20 comments:
You have no shame to post this on a serious fast day. Mac you've gone too far this time.
Anon 1:16 is right Mac, this is the kind of stuff that help destroyed to 2nd Temple, enough already.
Hey MacDougal. This post had me in tears. Funny stuff. Thanks for the laughs. Thanks for your more serious posts that pursue the truth. Keep up the good work my man.
And you know what anon 6:24? The silence of th masses is what allowed the holocaust to destroy so many Jews. I am not comparing this to the holocaust but enough of this crap - if someone is doing something bad they have to be called out on it. Stop pretending that th Etz Chaim boys and girls have been playing nicely on the playground. It's time their bullying stopped and the good people of Teaneck say enough!
6:24
Always missing the point its hilarious. Mac posted a satire how Ohr Sadyaa is doing all the things that got the temples destroyed. Bar Kamtzad is crazy funny and true.
9:21 you will never get the point, this is just as bad if not worse, have a great fast praying for the welfare of our people.
9:52 You defend metzitza bpeh too right & Hide child molesters & defend tzedaka fraud? Jews can do no wrong. Whatta Guy you are. You also agree with a mosque at ground zero because its their land, too? Go fast and pray in public while watching porn with your lunch at home behind locked doors.
9:52 Churchill's got nothing on you.
10:10 you really are a piece of garbage. You equate them to child molesters, probably think that you are a pious person. Are probably the one who watches porn behind closed doors and yet views himself or herself as a fine upstanding yid. When you are greater than everyone else and perfect, let me know. I am certain you have more flaws than them but are just to pious (falsely pious) to see it. Have a great existence.
I was referring to you
Actually, isn t EC restricted or prohibited from fasting on the premises of 554 Queen Anne. I thought that was part of the conditions no parties, no eating or fasting on week days they are only allowed to eat or fast for an hour after services end on Saturday. That is why they sued because there is no fasting on premises on weekdays, except Yom Kippur.
10:10 I was referring to you and your thinking. Your reading comprehension sucks.
1:32 they sued because they refused to follow Teaneck's laws and statutes and got caught. They always have careone.
As does yours 4:18, your attitude reflects that you are a piece of cr p which is obviously why you think the way you do. Crawl back in your hole and judge the world from your false sense of piety. Your not worth arguing with, minimal intelligence, big ego. Waste of time.
You used strong language and called me names, you sound like the president of Ohr Sadyaaa
Mr. 4:18, it was a joke, u know as in kidding around, ha ha ha.
The regulars at care 1 don't want the Etz Chaim losers. The regulars there know exactly what Rabbi Feldman, Zalman Levine, Channan Cohen, Steve jutkiwitz, bob erlich and Rachel mandelbaum are all about. Its these paragons who left them to form their shul 554 Queen Anne Rd Inc/Etz Chaim. Oh hold on! The wonderful Etz chain people come on Sundays sometimes to ease their consciences about screwing over all those people and care 1 residents on Shabbat. So no, the wonderful OS/EC/554//Toras chessed people should stay away, far away.
I'm against the lawsuit brought by Eitz Chaim, that must maker me a piece of garbage and cr--p
Why would that make you a piece of garbage and cr p? I have a feeling most people are against the lawsuit, it certainly is probably not good for the town.
It sure isn't good for the Jews of Teaneck!
Probably not.
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